'WTF?' - Old Christmas Eve

First of all, the factual part. In the 16th Century, the calendar changed to bring it in line with the solar year. Read the details here.

This resulted in Christmas being celebrated on the 25th December, instead of the date it used to be celebrated, which is now 6th January in the new, Gregorian calendar.

Some people still recognise and even celebrate the original date, calling it Little Christmas, Women’s Christmas, Green Christmas .. and my favourite … Old Christmas.

Now for the creepy bit.

Folk legends from various parts of the world agree - on Old Christmas Eve, animals can speak. Specifically barn animals. I has something to do with the story of the oxen in the manger bowing down and praising Baby Jesus, which is good of them, and there’s a certain Dr Dolittle charm to the idea, at first glance. But for some reason the idea of animals speaking has always horrified me.  

And honestly, what good thing does a cow have to say to us? One of the most necessary and unloved of animals, they’re just meat and milk to us. They’re not majestic like horses, pitiable like donkeys, cute like sheep, or wierd and somewhat dodgy, like goats. They’re big, lumbering, passive things that seem to have no personality at all. (I'm sure they actually have great personalities, before all the cows reading this come for me, but it’s not really on display, is it?).  

So imagine. It’s a freezing night in early January, the barn is cold and dark (and really smelly because those animals have been in there for a while now). Cow breath fogs the air.

You’re waiting.

And on the stroke of midnight the nearest cow swings its massive head, looks at you with its rolling eyes.

And speaks, in a human voice.

Other talking animal stories that have spooked me:

Gef the mongoose

Hoover the seal